Gaz - The World's Sexiest Man

Scattered particles of dust swept around one another as they performed an intimate dance in the rays of morning sunlight that streamed in through the window, bathing the room in a golden glow. Yawning as he rose from his bed, Gaz craned his neck to look out of the window and smiled as he saw the beautiful dawn that seemed to personally greet him. Bald head gleaming, he glanced absent mindedly at the ceiling as he decided what to do with his day.

I know, he thought, I'll become the world's sexiest man.

Climbing from his bed, he made his way to the magic mirror on the wall in the hall.

'Hi dude,' he said to the mirror.

'Hi Gaz,' it replied.

Gaz gazed deep into his reflection and asked, 'Mirror, who is the sexiest man in the world?'

'You are, Gaz,' it replied.

'Aw, cheers mirror,' said Gaz with a smile.

'All the best, Gaz,' said the mirror, as Gaz walked down the hall into the kitchen.

There was a newspaper open on the table, a tabloid piece showing pictures of the latest celebrity styles. Gaz sat down to read. The centerpiece of the article was a picture of Leonado Dicaprio with a newly shaved head and a magnificent beard. The journalist had queried Dicaprio's new look in the article, and the reply read, 'I just, I want to be more like Gaz. Doesn't everyone?'

'Aw, cheers Leo,' said Gaz to the image in the paper. Gaz was pleased with the day so far, he felt he had already accomplished much of what he set out to do. Although the mirror was definitely a lad, he felt he needed a second opinion. He lifted himself out of the chair and knelt on the floor, hands pressed together at the palms as he prayed.

'God, how do I become the sexiest man in the world?' he asked the ceiling. A pure white light that utterly outshone the golden hue of the sun's rays blazed down from the ceiling.

'Gaz,' began a deep, thunderous yet gentle voice that he felt more than heard, 'you cannot become the sexiest man in the world...'

'Oh,' said Gaz, slightly disheartened.

'Because you already are!' finished the ethereal auditory projection of the almighty. Gaz smiled.

'You're also Batman,' added God, and Gaz looked down to see he was dressed in the batsuit.

'And a Jedi,' added the voice, and Gaz saw there was a lightsaber hung on his bat utility belt.

'And the King of Westeros,' God finished, and Gaz noticed a ring with a Stag engraving on his finger.

'Aw, cheers God,' said Gaz.

'All the best, Gaz' said God, and the brilliant white light faded as God returned to his palace on high.

What a lad, thought Gaz of God, as he went to sit on the hard, ridged surface of the sofa in the front room. As he struggled to get comfortable, Gaz wondered if it had been a mistake to commission a mansion and its contents made entirely of lego.